I am a part-time co-sleeping mama.
What is a part-time co-sleeping mama, you might ask?
Well, the baby starts the night off in his bed and when he wakes up to nurse he comes to bed with me for the rest of the night. That's the way it used to be, at least! Jameson would go to bed at 8pm and sleep until 2am then join me in bed for the rest of the night. If however, he ever woke up earlier my husband would bring him straight to me instead of soothing him back to sleep.
Somewhere a long the lines his 2am wake-up time began moving forward. It was still OK when he was waking up at midnight but then it moved up to 10pm & sometimes he wouldn't even stay in his own bed for a full hour.
So what has been happening? My husband brings him to bed for me. Jameson has gotten used to this & expects me to nurse him all night long. As my sister so eloquently puts it, I feel like a milk cow.
This wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't also being used as a pacifier.
Now, don't get me wrong. I enjoy nursing. My son is getting what he needs & he isn't starving. Far from it...
So I decided that it needs to stop. I don't agree with cry-it-out nor do I like saying that I'm trying to break him of anything. I'm simply re-training him. (And to train my husband to stop bring him to me at every little peep.)
My goal is to have him moved back into to his bed for the first part of the night by the time he is 8 months old (or about 2 more weeks). My next goal is to get him in his bed full time, to basically stop co-sleeping altogether but I don't have a time frame for this, maybe in a couple months time.
It has been tough!
The first night he went to bed at his normal time & was awake by 11pm. I didn't nurse him but I rocked him & held him instead. When he realized he wasn't getting to nurse, well, let's just say, he has a little temper. After a little over an hour he fell back asleep & slept until 4am.
The second night went about the same. He woke up at 9 this time & was back in bed by 10 where he stayed asleep until 4am.
The third night, he did much better. He slept for a good amount of time & when he woke up at about 1am, I nursed him & put him back in his bed. He did wake up again at 4am & he was soaked! And of course, I couldn't find a diaper where I needed it so I had to run with a naked baby to the laundry to get a clean diaper. LOL Other than that it went much better.
I hope it continues getting better. So far I have done lots of rocking & lots of cuddling.
Why am I doing this? Because I need to. For me, my stress level, & my marriage. Yes, my marriage has suffered because of co-sleeping. We have a small bed & my husband ends up on the couch most nights which results in a grumpy husband. And I'm of the persuasion that marriage comes before children.
So after writing all that, my hopes are to stop co-sleeping by the end of summer, get a little bit more sleep, & become a bit more stress free. It will be a real trial & a great tribulation getting to my goal but I hope to get there eventually.
I realize this is a controversial topic & I appreciate your comments and I moderate all comments so please keep them civil or they won't be posted.
~Heather
I understand exactly how you feel. I posted a post almost exactly the same last year..
ReplyDeletehere it is http://zookeeperjess.blogspot.com/2009/08/sleepingweaning.html
there's also a nice article about doing it without crying it out and it WORKS! my son was night weaned with in a week or two and we were happy and finally well rested campers!
About co-sleeping well that's a hard one. I always put him in bed for his naps and for the first few hours of the night and he was fine. We got custody of my 2 nieces 3 months ago and all hopes of sleeping in his own bed went out the window. He won't nap in his bed at all even now.
PS this is Jessi from our Etsy Convo! :)
ooops, this is the post I was referring too, posted the wrong one last comment!
ReplyDeletehttp://zookeeperjess.blogspot.com/2009/08/night-weaning.html
I co-slept with my oldest. My baby hasn't needed it. He wasn't able to nurse while in bed for the first couple of months because of reflex issues, so since I had to nurse him in an upright position, and he had to sleep more upright, he slept in his own bed that was elevated at one end.
ReplyDeleteNow that his reflux is better, he sleeps on his tummy (controversy there, too), in his bed. But, I try to take his afternoon nap with him..and he drives me crazy then. Wanting to nurse all the time etc.
Yep, husband comes first. It will be hard on you and baby for a couple of weeks, but then you both will probably sleep better in the long run. Good luck!