Thursday, June 30, 2011

Random Thoughts

I've got a bunch of random thoughts floating around in my head today and I thought I'd just put them into one post instead of 3 or 4. :)

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Today is the last day of girl, disconnected! I've thoroughly enjoyed it. I've learned that social networking is not vital to living a quality filled life. Going cold turkey from Facebook was probably the best thing for me to do. On the other hand I will be glad to check in with my friends and a few groups I'm in. I have a lot of online friends all across the country and it's easier to keep up with them on there. I've also missed the immediate feedback I get from there and I will be glad to get that back!

Part of the disconnected experiment was to cut back on how much time I'm online and I've done that successfully. I've learned that the best thing for me to do is to shut off my laptop and put it out of sight. I'm not tempted to hop on and off then and I can focus more on other things going on around the house or in my sewing room.

I've really enjoyed girl, disconnected but I don't think I will do it again any time soon. I will go back to fully disconnecting one day a week with my Unplugged Challenge and I will be satisfied with that!

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Today is the last day of this month. I got so much done on my goal list. It really helps me to keep a visual reminder of what I've done and need to do still. I might not get everything done on the list but I'm not stressing about it. I think next month I will focus on getting some of my unfinished projects done. My list is a mile long! I must have sewing or craft ADHD. :)

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I'm looking at ways to make my life less stressful and am really trying to slow down. I think I have too many irons in the fire. I can't do it all, I know that, but getting help sometimes is next to impossible. Cooking, cleaning, homemaking, sewing, business, laundry, homeschooling, kids, husband, exercising, fun. How does one fit it all in?

I'll be honest, the first thing that came to my mind was (and still is) to quit homeschooling. That's probably harder to admit then the fact that I'm stressed out. There seems to be a wide-spread guilt trip put on those who do quit. Those on the homeschooling side are appalled that you’d ever think of putting your kid back in those evil schools and those on the pro-school side are of the I-told-you-so stand point. Now, if I had a great support system and an easy child then I'd never think of quitting. Unfortunately, neither are true. My immediate supporter (aka husband) doesn't support me much, if at all. He didn't want me to homeschool in the first place and now that I do he has very high expectations. Ian is also not the easiest child to teach (no matter how I teach to his learning style) and though it's better now that his reading is better, it is just tough. You'd have to know him to understand that fully. I try to remember the long term benefits to homeschooling and how much more freedom we have but it is difficult.

I'm also a pretty strong introvert. While I love people, they drain me dry, including my immediate family and children. I know I have to spend time away from others so that I have the energy to give everyone the things that they need. It's hard to set up time for myself, uninterrupted, when you're never alone. I've had several people, including my doctor, tell me to leave the house alone. That's hard for 2 reasons… 1)no babysitter (my husband makes me feel guilty if I ask him); 2)it puts me around people whom I need to get away from to reenergize. Doesn’t that sound like a big horrible cycle? And I wonder why I feel like crying sometimes and feel like quitting homeschooling.

Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Now I'm not going to think about this for the next few hours but go sew for awhile!

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